Many people have asked me the recipe for long lasting successful relationships. There is never a specific recipe since all relationships are unique. But a universal ingredient that tops my list of ‘can’t go wrong’ formula is the ability to make oneself valuable in a way one’s partner needs it. Generally, people assume they are doing great with their partner. Needs of each other are either overlooked or not comprehended clearly without realizing it. Thus, a relationship starts working on these assumptions, especially as it ages – breeding complacence. As a result, people’s actions completely miss what their partner need to feel happy and connected to. Communication takes a backseat.
When the needs are not effectively communicated, and actions start getting presumption based, a large gap between the two is formed. A paradigm shift in the mindset of couples to bridge this gap is necessary. It is extremely essential to be on the same page with one’s partner. Once they get the drift of it, issues can be tackled very easily. A mindset shift requires to make a few changes in one’s thought process and behavioural patterns. Cultivating patience is the first step in that direction. Timing and patience go hand in hand. To wait patiently for the right time to respond or react allows a lot of time to understand and analyse a partner or a situation. As opposed to being impulsive, patience can be peace inducing. It’s never easy to feel content about anything in life – not just relationships. With patience comes understanding. Patience facilities the process of understanding one’s partner. With understanding comes the identification of their needs – battle half won.
We somehow have conditioned ourselves to constantly judge others – our near and dear ones included. That takes away the essence of any close relationship. Instead of judging, being receptive to the needs of your partner can help get rid of any negativity. Since Judgement forms the basis of contempt and criticism it’s imperative to have an open mind. Being non-judgmental requires a ‘clean-slate’ mind, free from any preconceived notions or thoughts. Here the ability to forgive and forget works wonders. Rather than holding a grudge against your partner about anything, forgiving and forgetting always help. Don’t let your memory become a bane instead of a boon.
So, With the right ingredient mix, how about proving you are a great cook? Happy cooking!!!