21 Apr

Two Sides of the Same Coin: Why Mental Health and Relationships Go Hand in Hand

When we think about relationships, we often imagine romance, companionship, and shared dreams. What we don’t always talk about is how much mental health shapes — and is shaped by — the relationships we build.

The truth is simple but powerful: healthy minds build healthy relationships. And healthy relationships nurture healthy minds.
You really can’t separate the two.

Your Inner World Affects Your Outer Connections

The way you feel about yourself influences every interaction you have. When you’re feeling secure, balanced, and self-aware, you communicate more openly, trust more easily, and offer love more freely. But when you’re battling inner storms — anxiety, depression, insecurity — it can spill over into your relationships, sometimes without even realizing it.

Unresolved trauma can trigger misunderstandings. Anxiety can fuel jealousy. Low self-worth can lead to unhealthy attachments.
Without nurturing your mental health, even the best relationship can start to feel overwhelming, confusing, or fragile.

Relationships Can Heal or Hurt

The people you let into your life have the power to either lift you higher or weigh you down. A supportive partner can remind you of your strength, offer a safe space for your fears, and help you grow into the best version of yourself. In contrast, a toxic relationship can deepen wounds, erode self-esteem, and leave lasting scars.

This is why it’s not just about being in a relationship — it’s about being in a relationship that respects your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Choosing partners who value open communication, kindness, and emotional maturity isn’t just a “nice to have” — it’s essential for your mental health journey.

It’s a Two-Way Street

Mental health and relationships are a constant dance of give and take. When you’re working on your own healing, you bring more empathy, patience, and resilience into your relationships.
When you’re in a healthy relationship, you feel safe enough to keep growing, exploring, and healing.

And when both people are committed to their individual mental health and to the wellbeing of the relationship, magic happens: love becomes a place of safety, not stress. A source of joy, not a battlefield of wounds.

Prioritize Both, Always

Taking care of your mental health isn’t selfish. It’s one of the best gifts you can offer yourself — and the people you love. Likewise, investing in relationships that nurture and honor you isn’t a distraction from personal growth — it’s a vital part of it.

When we realize mental health and relationships are two sides of the same coin, we stop seeing self-care and love as separate journeys. They’re intertwined, supporting and strengthening each other, leading us toward lives that are richer, fuller, and more authentic.

21 Apr

Better Alone Than Lonely Together: Choosing Solitude Over Empty Relationships

In a world that romanticizes coupledom, choosing to be alone can often feel like a rebellion. But there’s a difference—an important one—between being alone and being lonely. What’s even more haunting is being in a relationship and still feeling alone.

Loneliness is a heavy feeling. It weighs on the chest, creeps into quiet moments, and can make even a room full of people feel empty. But when you’re in a relationship that doesn’t nourish you—where your emotional needs go unmet, where connection is lost, and where silence feels louder than words—that’s a different kind of ache altogether. It’s the loneliness that comes with expectation, and it’s harder to bear.

Being in a lonely relationship often means tiptoeing around unspoken disappointments, pretending things are okay, or feeling unseen even while being physically present with someone. It drains you. You give and give, waiting for the relationship to feel full again, but sometimes it just doesn’t.

Solitude, on the other hand, can be healing. It can be empowering. It gives you space to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with yourself. You rediscover your likes, dislikes, your rhythm. There’s no pretending. No emotional limbo. Just you, as you are. And from that space of self-awareness and self-love, meaningful relationships—with others and with yourself—can begin to bloom.

Being single doesn’t mean being lonely. It means choosing peace over pretense. It means not settling for something that leaves you feeling small, unheard, or emotionally starved. It’s a brave choice. A loving one. A choice that says: I matter too.

So if you’re torn between staying in a relationship that feels hollow or walking into the unknown of solitude, remember this: loneliness can be faced and healed. But staying in a lonely relationship often means slowly losing parts of yourself to fill a void that may never close.

You deserve love that feels like home—not a house echoing with silence.

03 Jan

Harnessing Creative Self-Worth: A Path to Personal Growth

Harnessing Creative Self-Worth: A Path to Personal Growth

Introduction

In a world that often prioritizes tangible achievements and conventional success, the importance of nurturing one’s creative self-worth is frequently overlooked. Yet, it is this very aspect of our being that can lead us on a transformative journey towards profound personal growth and fulfillment.

The Essence of Creative Self-Worth

Creative self-worth is not just about artistic abilities; it encompasses the unique perspectives, innovative ideas, and original thoughts each individual brings to the table. It’s about valuing your inner creativity – the way you solve problems, how you envision possibilities, and the originality you bring to your daily life.

Why Creative Self-Worth Matters

Embracing our creative worth empowers us to break free from the constraints of conventional thinking. It opens up a world where we can redefine success on our terms and pursue paths that resonate with our deepest selves. In nurturing this aspect of ourselves, we find the courage to explore new ideas, take risks, and step outside our comfort zones – all essential components of personal growth.

Cultivating Creative Self-Worth

Self-Reflection: Begin by recognizing your own creative abilities. Reflect on moments when you solved a problem uniquely, developed an innovative idea, or approached a situation differently than others might have.

Overcoming Fear: Fear of judgment or failure often holds us back from expressing our creativity. Overcoming this fear is a crucial step towards embracing our creative selves.

Continuous Learning: Keep expanding your horizons. Engage in activities that challenge your thinking and expose you to new ideas and perspectives.

Creating Without Constraints: Allow yourself to create freely without worrying about the outcome. This could be writing, drawing, brainstorming, or any activity that lets your creativity flow without boundaries.

Embracing Imperfections: Understand that creativity is not about perfection. It’s about expression, exploration, and learning from the process.

Integrating Creative Self-Worth in Daily Life

Applying creative self-worth in daily life could mean approaching challenges at work with innovative solutions, infusing creativity into your relationships by trying new experiences together, or simply allowing yourself time each day to engage in a creative hobby.

Conclusion

In recognizing and nurturing our creative self-worth, we unlock a vital component of our identity. This not only enriches our personal lives but also enhances our contributions to the world around us. As we embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth, we realize that our creative worth is not just a part of who we are – it is the very essence that propels us towards a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Call to Action

Acknowledging and fostering one’s creative self-worth is a crucial step towards a richer, more fulfilling personal and professional life. Tarun Bulchandani and Sagarika Shah are here to assist in taking that significant step. Reaching out to them opens the door to a journey filled with growth, self-discovery, and empowerment. If you are based in London, Mumbai or Ahmedabad, you can even reach out for an in-person meeting. 

26 Jun

Country of control freaks???

country of control freaks???

It was a college friend’s birthday. Called up to wish her. After the birthday greetings were conveyed, we got talking about the topic that has been monopolizing every conversation these days. According to her, the silver lining of Covid-19 was that she got to be at her parents’. While she was visiting them, the lockdown was announced and she couldn’t return to where her husband and in-laws live. She was at her parents’ for threemonths – first time in her almost thirteen years of marriage. Told her would be good to catch up, if she visited again. And her response is the reason behind this write-up. 

She told me she wasn’t “allowed” to visit her parents more than once a year and would be visiting them next year. I wasn’t appalled by the response, given the nature of my work. I come across many clients controlled by parents, siblings, bosses, spouses and in-laws. But it really made me think. Why are people controlled to such an extent that they don’t evenhave the liberty to take decisions like visiting their own parents?

I’ve had discussions with my friends and fellow work associates who feel one can be controlled only if one lets oneself to be controlled. It’s easier said than done especially for people who feel intrinsically controlled when controlled extrinsically. So, the word here should be ‘exploited’ rather than controlled. 

In my friend’s case, she belongs to a very conservative family. Before marriage she was controlled by her parents and two elder brothers. After marriage, by her husband and in-laws and if I see through a crystal ball, I can see her being controlled by her grown up child in the future. May be she can put up with the restrictions because she is used to all the restraints right from her childhood. She probably has never experienced zero ruling. Her conditioning probably helps her muddle through all the controls that come her way. Doesn’t mean she is happy. She reminisced the college days and said those were the best days of her life and wish she could turn back the clock to those days.

Why is personal freedom so expensive in our country, especially for women? Although there are men who are oppressed and controlled too. In the case of women, despite the education, they are “not allowed” to work. If they don’t work, where will the financial independence come from? Well, even financially independent women don’t always have a say in their marriage. I have clients who give away their salaries to their husbands. And have to ask for money for their expenses. I do find fault with such women who don’t stand up for themselves. But it’s also not always a cake walk for them. Would walking out of a controlling marriage give them their freedom? Not always. If they go back to their parents’, they would be controlled by them. And for women who are not financially independent, they don’t have too much choice. Ihave no words for such husbands and/or in-laws capitalizing on the financial dependence and exploiting their wife/daughter in law. I see so many young adults controlled by their parents. Even married sons in the family business have to ask permission to take their wives out or on holidays or buy them some gifts.  

The tendency to own and control another person comes from a very toxic mindset which needs help. Despite their controlling nature and having controlled other people, these are the same people who come to therapy the most – rather than the ones who are controlled. Ironic! The mentality to control – the overt and covert ways of control, spoil relationships. Let go of control to save your relationship from going out of control.

The other day I gave a ride to a lady and her mother in law who stay in the house across. Her mother in law very proudly shared that her daughter in law too could drive, but was “not allowed” to drive by the men in the family.

I wish EVERYONE is ALLOWED to spread their wings and soar beyond the stars…

23 Oct

Intimacy without intricacy


What stops you from getting hitched? Are you a commitment phobic? Do you believe in intimate relationships without getting into the intricacies? If yes, please listen to the following podcast.
Sagarika Shah, Co-founder, Psychologist and Relationship Therapist, Thought Counsel is here to share her insights on mental wellness and relationships. sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com https://www.thoughtcounsel.com

16 Oct

Can money make or mar your relationship?


Is money a bone of contention between you and your partner? Are your finances coming in the way of your marital bliss? Listen to the following podcast to find out more.

Sagarika Shah, Co-founder, Psychologist and Relationship Therapist, Thought Counsel is here to share her insights on mental wellness and relationships. sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com https://www.thoughtcounsel.com

09 Oct

Who struggles the most in relationships?


If you struggling in your relationship, you could be the reason and not your partner. Please listen to this podcast to find out more.

Sagarika Shah, Co-founder, Psychologist and Relationship Therapist, Thought Counsel is here to share her insights on mental wellness and relationships. sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com https://www.thoughtcounsel.com

02 Oct

Healthy emotional environment in a relationship

Emotions are a part of every human being. Not all emotions are healthy. For a relationship to succeed, it’s very important to create a healthy emotional environment. Listen to the podcast to understand the ways to create it.
Sagarika Shah, Co-founder, Psychologist and Relationship Therapist, Thought Counsel is here to share her insights on mental wellness and relationships. sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com https://www.thoughtcounsel.com