Monthly Archives: October 2018

The latest research shows similarity with your partner can affect your mental wellbeing and in turn your happiness. For ages, psychologists have debated about the benefits of similarity. It has finally been proved that the more similar you are, the more likely you are to enjoy the same pursuits, ideals and attitude. Most importantly, ‘agreeableness’ seems to rule the roost. When both partners are more agreeable about things in general, they are more likely to gel well.

Couples tend to be happier if they have more agreeable, meticulous and less anxious personalities. Following such similarities come the trait of empathy. Similar empathy breeds more trust in the partner – an ideal way to feel supported in a relationship. Openness is another trait associated with it. Couples are happier when they both give equal weightage to being free and independent minded.

Sharing the same chronotype – whether you are a morning, or an evening person may be underestimated, but similarity here leads to a satisfied sexual compatibility. Also, the political and religious views held can make or mar a relationship. Basis all these similarities, you develop a shared identity which is the benchmark of relationship success.

Similarity is important not just to make the relationship last but also to help couples solve marital distress in a balanced way. It makes a couple feel more confident and less insecure about each other and their marriage. You will be able to beautifully share your similarities and celebrate your differences.

Not all individuals are similar. A husband and wife are not siblings and may not be fortunate enough to share the high level of similarity required for the wellbeing of their marriage. But you can certainly manage to achieve a form of companionship in which you feel as if you and your partner have become one in terms of values and traits. With this oneness, differences will take a backseat. There is no similarity rule that applies to all, but since its concluded that partner similarity does matter in relationships, it is important we all strive towards achieving it – partly if not fully. After all, something is better than nothing. Similarities should direct the compass of attraction. Next time you look at a prospective partner, see how similar you are. And, if opposites attract, you know it doesn’t sound familiar or should I say similar?

Navratri is that time of the year when the tone for the festive season suddenly picks up. This longest festival puts everyone in a celebratory mood. With Diwali round the corner, people are upbeat about the season.  For the youngsters, Navratri is always special.

Youngsters are super excited since it’s the only time of the year when they have the freedom to have fun all night. As if they are given a license to make merry at unearthly hours. While this comes with its own share of problems and issues, I feel youngsters in our country are too subdued and controlled. Despite being in an age bracket where they are at the end of their teens, they are never treated as young adults.

Parents tend to question the safety and security of their children during this time. They feel, their ‘grown up kids’ may not act responsibly.  Such doubts are a product of the bringing up process. Right bringing up will evoke the right behaviour. Why can’t we instil the right morals in our children so that they can turn into accountable individuals?

When we compare the children of the west to our children there is a stark difference. I used to take pride in the fact that our children remain children even after they turn teens. They still have streaks of innocence. In the west, most of the children take a leap from childhood to adulthood on turning adolescents. There is no ‘in-between’ phase. What I failed to realize is that this ‘innocence’ comes with a cost. It takes a toll on the children and their parents. Children are too engaged in ‘the moment’ that they fail to see beyond their nose when placed in temporary independence zones. Parents on the other hand are haunted by thoughts about–  what kind of company would they be in – same or mixed? Would they be in a group or with a single individual, et.al?

Conditioning of the children and parents need to change. When the right values, principles and ethics are inculcated, the independence is seldom misused. Its not easy when its not a part of the inherent bringing up process. We must realize, we need to trust our children. Let them make mistakes but don’t let those mistakes mar the important lessons of life. Parents let your thinking grow so that your children can grow up.