No human being is perfect. No relationship is perfect either. When people strive to make their relationship perfect, they end up making it even worse than what it is. Every couple has a unique equation with each other. This equation is the result of some parameters which the relationship functions on. What is important to one couple may not be so to another one. These parameters vary from person to person, couple to couple and relationship to relationship and ultimately define the relationship dynamics.
The biggest folly which most couples or rather individuals in relationships make is to compare their equation with another couple/relationship. One of the main reasons of distress. So long as those parameters continue to have a traction on their relationship to work overall smoothly, it doesn’t really matter what the other couple shares. What a couple share is something totally personal and unique. It is impossible to emulate another couple by simply observing them. What their dynamics are, can be very different from what meets the eye. Their social makeup can be very deceptive. Various social media platforms only make it worse. With no offence to social media users, I strongly believe that public exhibition of love, romance and closeness is nothing but a reflection of inner inadequacies, fears or insecurities. A false display of reality. An attempt to meet some unfulfilled needs at some subconscious level.
To stop comparing yourself or your relationship with others, you need to develop a sense of contentment. The moment you start feeling content about yourself and your partner, your relationship will transform into something very beautiful. If the basic parameters set by you and your partner are in action, you don’t need to sweat the small stuff. You may feel someone’s spouse loves him/her more than yours. You may feel someone is rewarded more materialistically than you. But those are not the gauging measures to go by. Be happy in your own space. Like there’s no limit to comparing, sky is the limit to expecting. When you stop comparing and expecting, you stop any kind of a relationship distress trigger from activating.
No matter what others think about your relationship, what’s important is how you feel about it. What you have created, and share is inimitable. Hope you feel content by the contents of this column and develop a sense of contentment.