Opposites attract only to retract…

The age old adage – ‘opposites attract’ sometimes makes me marvel at the law of attraction. How much truth does it hold, to what extent and for how long? Attraction, a very short lived phenomenon (unless the art to make it linger is mastered) is defined as a quality or feature which evokes liking, interest or desire. Human beings get attracted to infinite persons/things in a life time. A fact seldom accepted very openly by many. The degree to which people get attracted varies though. For some it’s a tendency. Attraction is not a controlled emotion either. A sensible person can evenly balance the scales of attraction between submission and resistance. A beautiful feeling, producing chemical and physiological changes in the brain, has to be dealt with immense prudence.

Is attraction always about the opposites? Normally, one does tend to get attracted to the contraries. Especially in romantic liaisons such attractions are very common and alluring. But the same opposites can come to hound a person at a later date, since more than the opposites, it’s about turning a blind eye to the differences. Remember, ‘love is blind’ after all? The most important relationship tip that I can give is never ignore the initial differences or opposites which you think can either be altered or one can get used to later. Please don’t let the future play an eye opener and keep your eyes open in the present. Accepting the person as it is, without expecting him or her to change is the key to a successful relationship. Many or most people fail to recognise this, creating distress and acrimony.

“Oh we are poles apart and can complement each other so well” is said with so much conviction when basking in initial euphoria. The conviction in the same polarity loses its essence with time. “Oh we are like chalk and cheese and we just cannot see eye to eye on anything together.” Retraction time! Complete metamorphosis of feelings with lapsing time.

Still a very prevalent practice in India with arranged matrimonial alliances, is not just the process of matching horoscopes, but also seeking similar backgrounds – social, economic and educational. A very practical approach to help the prospective bride and groom enter a new innings of their life on an equal footing. I am not here to propagate arranged marriages. One doesn’t have to be like siblings, similar in all aspects. No two individuals ever are. But it does become essentially imperative to get a handle on the inherent qualities and characteristics of one’s prospective partner. Temperament traction and emotional equilibrium in sync with each other is akin to a smooth and everlasting association. Regardless of the kind of union – arranged or otherwise, making a beginning from an even platform from all perspectives always proves to be extremely effective in the long run.  Attractions are momentary and temporary but love is permanent. By concocting basic fundamental similarities with variances, an appetizing association can be created. Bon appetit!!!