Marrying a rich guy is almost every girl’s dream. Maybe a Mills & Boon dream or a Fifty Shades fantasy. And when the dream comes true, life is splendid! But the question is for how long? Does treading on this materialistic path satiate the avaricious needs? The only significant criterion here, what happens to the other essential factors critical for a marriage? Maybe money was the only rider once upon a time, but now what? Can it still work its charm on a relationship? As much as I wouldn’t want to believe in the same, there are so many couples whose relationship is based on money. Not to deny the importance and necessity here. But I have seen so many couples compromising on their marriages because of the same. While, these are just one category of people, we have another category too.
One of my clients, a provider for his family sees his hard earned money evaporating into thin air. It’s not difficult for his extravagant wife to spend his money on things unlimited. On probing further he says it’s the cheapest way to buy happiness for the wife and peace for himself.
How does it work? Splurges and indulgences by the wife are completely overlooked since that is what keeps her going. Instead of bearing the brunt of all her temper tantrums, insecurities and clinginess, he feels her spending keeps her maintain her sanity and in turn his. Mood transformation and elevation is immediate on engaging in shopping escapades. Money and its therapeutic uses.
While the large heartedness of this gentleman is something admirable and with all due respect to his generosity in not letting his wife think twice before involving in frequent shopping sprees, he is one of the fortunate ones to afford such luxuries on his wife. But what happens to others who can neither afford nor are generous enough to part with their earnings to let go of her idiosyncrasies? How do they procure happiness? A difficult proposition I am sure.
They may be subject to more of these taxing behaviours compared to the ones who keep buying happiness. But resorting to this practice is detrimental for any relationship. A line has to be drawn. Succumbing to unpleasant and unhealthy practices is an escapism from the real.
Sometimes the tables are turned. The woman regardless of whether she is economically independent or supporting the family or not, feels helpless and stifled to see the husband splurge money on unnecessary things, activities and vices. The wife has no say. And her feeble attempt to point out the addiction only leads to friction in a relationship.
How does one deal with this extravaganza? While my readers may feel it’s easier said than done, one should never feed such tendencies. Letting the wife or the husband spend sensibly is sensible, but letting them spend insensibly is certainly insensible. You don’t have to be stingy in your approach. Relationship is based on something much more than monetary pleasures. If it has to sustain on a financial platform, it’s time to rethink. Please don’t think about the ways in which money can be replaced by other factors which would make a relationship blossom. Like water finds its own level, so does a relationship, but with the right elements.
Please don’t let spending be the driving force in your relationship.