My article – ‘Why stop watering the plant of love’, published a fortnight ago had my inbox flooded with emails. The essence of the article was woman centric, talked about women and their viewpoint. I have a lot of requests from guys who want me to throw some light on their perspective and thereby help women gain an insight into what they actually want from a relationship. So girls, brace up! This one’s for you…
So when guys take you out, do things for you, surprise you with a movie, a trip to the cafe, are you supposed to sit back, take it easy, enjoy the way things come to you and expect him to keep doing this month after month, year after year?
It takes two to build a bridge. Please move away from the stereotypical roles of the guy continuously giving (and later providing), while his girl remains busy expecting. Changing times need changed outlook.
While it is up to him to pamper you, you owe him the same. Well, not in terms of the same things that he does for you, but certainly the same idea – to make him feel special and wanted.
Guys like things done, to them, for them, that make them feel special too. So if your guy takes you out to a fancy restaurant maybe you should organise a night in with the boys watching that game of football that he used to watch with his friends before you were in a relationship. It reminds him of a life before you but at the same time, while he’s with you, it keeps him rooted to the new way of life and appreciate your presence in his life.
You know every time you go shopping and poor guy hangs around holding your bags, maybe you make sure that he spends a similar amount of time doing what he likes… maybe he doesn’t like shopping for bags and shoes but he might want to go out and have a game of golf with his friends… It’s not up to you to arrange one for him but to make sure that he has his time, is able to indulge in things that he used to before you got married or got into a relationship.
Not only does this give him time, gives you your ‘me time’ too. After all, no guys want their women clinging to them all the time. How about giving them a chance to admire your independence? Not hogging on all his time gives you both the much required space. The result – both of you remain stimulated, physically and mentally.
It is well known that men mature at quite a later stage than women. This time and space that they get after getting into early relationships give them enough time to grow into what they are and understand what they want from life. Playing the part of a supporting partner, when he’s still acting like a teenager, while in his mid-twenties is something you need to be prepared for. Maybe you need to park your mature thought process and give him the space he needs to be the man you want him to be.