The biggest mistake that most couples make in intimate relationships, especially once married is to take each other for granted. We all know the repercussions of taking someone for granted. It only breeds monotony in the relationship and takes away the essence of the dynamics that once created the relationship. A universal deal breaker.
But another mistake almost every couple makes is taking themselves for granted. When one starts taking one’s own self for granted, one unconsciously starts disrupting the equation of the relationship. Many couples I meet, generally come up with one common complaint saying their partner has changed. Now, this happens when one starts taking oneself for granted.
Generally, at the onset of a new relationship, a couple would go out of their way to impress or please each other. They would try to be well groomed, keep themselves abreast with the latest news and happenings, dress up well and basically pamper themselves apart from pampering their partner. But once they get hitched, they don’t really feel the need to do much about themselves. When pointed out, they feel they have a right to be themselves in the relationship. Well, one doesn’t have to change one’s inherent self, but changing what was once showcased is kind of letting one’s partner down. There are so many husbands who expect their wives to look nice, while they are so dishevelled themselves.
A wife had filed a petition for divorce since she was fed up with her husband’s slovenliness. He refused to shave and shower. The husband was given a warning to mend his ways or else, they would grant her a divorce.
Taking one’s self for granted is like compromising with one’s self-esteem and feel good factors. Only if one feels good about one’s self, one can feel good about the relationship. How many times have we heard married couples looking at their wedding albums and comparing themselves to now. “I used to be so slim” or “I really liked the way I decked up then, compared to now” or “we look so happy”. Haven’t we heard wives being sarcastic to their husbands saying “you will always find her more attractive than me because she has a good figure” or a husband getting insecure when his wife praises her gym instructor. Who asked you to stop taking care of yourself?
Who is asking the husband or the wife to binge on food and drinks and put on weight? Eat well, exercise, dress up well, remain well-groomed and feed yourself with the right thoughts and knowledge. Be responsible for your own deeds and see what ensues. Taking yourself or your partner for granted, is not granted…