A recent meeting with a client couple was very enlightening. Seeing each other for more than a couple of years, they sought my help to understand the ensuing differences between them. As any relationship passes past the initial euphoric phase, a new insight grows into the minds of the couple seeing each other. This couple had a beautiful beginning. As much as it seems common, to start off smoothly is not always a given. Many couples go through some teething problems. In order to help their relationship, they need to work on themselves. But the couple I was seeing shared a wonderful chemistry from day one. According to them there was this instant click which made them click.
Two years of euphoria, bliss and ease transformed into differences, apprehensions and criticism. But having invested a lot in the relationship, they refused to let go of each other. Something I really liked. Its very easy for couples who haven’t tied the knot to give up on each other. They always have options. But something was very different about this couple.
A very pleasant looking couple in their late twenties, came and sat on my couch like two small children. Their body language was very childlike too. Their comfort level with each other was second to none. They had shared a beautiful journey for two years and that reflected in their demeanour. They had major differences and were discontent with the way things had unfolded, but that certainly didn’t take away any sweetness between them and neither did it make them bitter. A quality that’s indeed rare in today’s day and age.
My point here is not to talk about their problems but to highlight the fact that despite the equation not remaining what it was once upon a time, one doesn’t have to turn hostile. All couples young and not so young should emulate this couple. They had a distinct aura about themselves as individuals which had a cascading effect on their relationship.
No matter what both of you are going through, the moment you look within and tell yourself to control all the negativity, focus on your and your partner’s strengths, the lessons learnt, and the memories earned, you can deal with any relationship distress. Regardless of whose fault it is and whether you can keep it sweet and simple without making it messy and complex, you can weather any storm of your relationship. After a storm, comes a calm, but you can be the calm before the storm.