Author Archives: tarun

How does one compare the success ratio of love vis a vis an arranged marriage? A difficult proposition indeed! Although the ‘kind’ of marriage has nothing to do with its success, the number of avenues open for people to access potential/prospective alliance these days is astounding. Conventionally arranged marriages worked through families and friends – introducing a prospective bride/groom to the family concerned. Still a common practice, it’s no longer the only method. With joint families on the decline and nuclear families on the rise, the nature of arranged marriages have altered. Again, more openness and acceptance towards inter-caste marriages have changed the meaning of these kind of marriages.
Newspapers were pioneers in publishing matrimonial advertisements. Along with the print media, thanks to the advent of the internet, matrimony sites have become a very effective means for candidates seeking matrimonial alliances. Its abundance in terms of choices and information is almost limitless. As the biggest marriage portal in the world proclaims, it’s something as simple as this: Matrimony Indian Matrimonials – Ready for Marriage? Create Your Matrimonial Profile to find Suitable Indian Brides, NRI Grooms and find your Perfect Match only on Shaadi.com!

It is easy and instant. With no boundary restrictions of the globe, people can access database from all over the world. Merely proves how the dynamics of marriages have changed and evolved over the years…

We all have plans. We have plans to lose weight and get fit, quit smoking, learn something new, eat healthier and diet, and on and on.

We all have plans; and for the majority of us, that’s exactly what they remain as – plans. There’s no execution, it’s all a dream in our heads.  It stays there, sometimes as happy thoughts, sometimes pressing, sometimes embarrassing and shaming us. It does a lot of things to us but it remains in our head as a plan and the first thought we have about it is, I’ll start working on it someday – someday that’s not today, it’s a day in the future.

Unfortunately, not a lot of us succeed at achieving our goals. We make plans, we think thoughts but never execute them. Maybe because we’re lazy but may be also because we’re waiting for a trigger, an external catalyst. Something substantial to start us off.

We wait. Pretexts could be: I’ll start next month, next year, when I get my next salary, when my savings go above a particular threshold, when I have a better means of transport, etc., etc. We’re all waiting for something that can give us a huge fillip, something that segments our current state and the future state we see ourselves in. We want to see a thick solid white line which we perceive how a start line to think plan looks like. We wait for the sort of explosion that is required to propel a rocket forward.

We’re not a rocket though and we don’t need a huge explosion to propel us towards where we want to go. All we need is a tiny spark, and that spark already exists if you’ve thought about something. If you’ve thought about getting out of debt and saving money, spend more time with family, travel to new places, be less stressed, to volunteer, to cut down on your alcohol intake, you already have had the spark. You don’t need a start line. You don’t need it to be the first of January. You don’t need to have that magic number appear in your bank account to start taking action.

All you need is today. All you need is now. And you have it. You have the moment, seize it and make it your thick solid white start line that you’ve been waiting for. There will never be a right day, there will never be enough money, there will always be first of January – except that there will be another one in a year’s time and that will seem more suitable than the one you’re looking at.

So, what do you think – can now be that start line?

We all want to be the best; our best; it’s not easy but it’s not impossible either.

Humankind has achieved feats that initially were inconceivable, then were thought of as impossible after they were first dreamt of, spoken of. Imagined. Most people actually believed that these were impossible but a certain breed of people didn’t. They dreamt they could, they believed they could. The came forward and did more. Achieved more. These achievers did better, went the extra mile and achieved beyond what was thought of as impossible.

That’s the pace of life, that’s the pace of innovation and achievement; that’s the pace of people who do things, go above and beyond. Do the crazy. They dream, they believe, they achieve. That’s what’s required if you are to be the best, better than best.

Were they all born believers? Were they all perfect?

No one is perfect.

We all have our limitations.

So, how do we go the extra mile? How do we do what no one else can? How do we better ourselves, become better than what we were yesterday? How do we achieve tomorrow what we couldn’t today, what we did not think was possible just some time ago?

We do exactly what the doers do.

We dream, we believe, we achieve.

We dream and we do it. That’s the beginning and the end. It’s the journey that’s terrifying. We start on the journey alone, sometimes we find a way, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we need validation, support and someone who believes in us.

We need a friend. Someone who knows us and has our best interests at heart. Someone who understands us. Someone who can drive us forward. Someone who can make us realise what our forte is and what we could do better. Someone who knows our innermost feelings, what we think; why we think what we think, what our drivers, fears and perceived limitations are. Who knows us, understands us, where we are and where we want to go. Who makes us believe and helps us succeed, day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. This person is our confidante, our unflinching pillar. Makes us believe, gives us the strength, energy and belief to do better tomorrow than what we could imagine yesterday and found impossible the day before.

We all need such a friend. We all need a coach.