Remember when you first met her? You were enchanted by her smile and couldn’t have enough of her.
Remember when you used to look for every chance to take her out and make every evening special?
Remember when you’d try your best to make her smile, try to make her feel eternally happy?
If this sounds like a memory test, it’s time to get a reality check on your love life.
The biggest relationship fallacy – a steady gradient in the ratio of initial indulgence to zero indulgence, is committed by many.
I just met a young guy whose girlfriend had broken up with him because she no longer thought he was the guy for her. On speaking with him over a few sessions, it was apparent what had happened.
When they first started dating, he would take her out, movies, meals, brunches, cafes, you name a romantic gesture and he’d tell you a tale where he’d overdone it for her.
They were so happy together that it seemed nothing or no one could come between them. A bond so strong that couldn’t be broken in this life. A life together so interesting that they wouldn’t have thought they’d have enough of each other in a single life. It’s not what happened though. Their relationship didn’t last two years.
The reason, it seemed, was simple, they’d gotten used to each other. The meets in cafes went from once a week to once a month, romantic meals turned into takeaways and to conversations about whose turn it was to oven heat the supermarket frozen food and feed the dog.
On reading this, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened and what caused her to lose interest in the guy. A guy who used to buy roses for her now didn’t even water the house plants. Most of us would be quick to point out his shortcomings and move on.
However, it’s not as simple as this. Let me tell you more about this guy… He’s all of us!!!
Reflect back into your relationship and for almost all of us, it’ll be following the same trend – shelf life relationships lasting only for a stipulated time period.
Unlike the girl in this relationship, your girlfriend might’ve stepped up and might be cooking for you. You’re sitting there smugly thinking there’s nothing wrong with your relationship.
When was the last time you did something truly special for her? Take her out? Make her evening special? Make her feel special about herself and about being with the perfect guy? This is not a memory checker. Just think about it… and if you were to take advice off a newspaper column, make that day today.
Also, let us know how it went and how she reacted, did you get the dazzling smile you used to receive every other day when you started courting her? Did she get close to you, hold you and say thanks for making her day special?
Write to us and let us know.