No marriage guarantees to last forever with all its passion and connection intact. A fact known by all but believed by some. A couple tying the knot is under a spell which makes them believe their marriage will be very different from all other marriages and that their love would last forever. Superlatively positive yet distorted thinking. If couples continue to exist in a fool’s paradise, they are bound to feel disappointed, frustrated and heartbroken when their marriage fails to even its scale with their beliefs, dreams and expectations.
A couple tends to magnify its initial phase of love and passion. Once monotony sets in, they outgrow this first phase and get into the mundane phase, causing strong withdrawal symptoms. They can’t get over the initial euphoria which makes them jittery. A couple starts feeling their partner has changed when actually it is the phase that has changed. Without realizing it, they start the blame game.
The biggest problem with most couples is that they are not well equipped to deal with their problems effectively. Sometimes they make their problems even worse due to lack of any expertise to cope with their issues. This results in conflicts remaining unresolved and causing a long term disconnect. It’s not really their fault especially if it’s a first marriage since every day is a new day and every experience is a learning experience.
Every couple needs to be realistic about their marital goals. The first step in any marriage or for that matter any serious relationship is the acceptance of the fact that ‘nothing lasts forever.’ One should be mindful of the fact that it will keep changing, transforming and evolving continuously. As soon as a marriage gets a little tarnished, people can’t help comparing it to the initial blissful state they were basking in and end up feeling blue. Going through a marital cycle is inevitable, but the key to cope with the transition lies in learning new skills and gaining the tools that can enable a couple to navigate through these changing phases.
What works for you may not work for some other marriage or some other individual. Create your own skillset and dynamics that best work for you and make your marriage meaningful. When you know nothing lasts forever, why run after an illusion? Follow the reality and happiness will run after you.