Spending my lockdown in Ahmedabad, rather than from my home in Mumbai, has put me in a different zone to speculate different aspects of relationships. I am inundated with a lot of relationship problems from couples these days. So, I want to know what are the problems that you are facing in your relationships? Struggling to spend time with your significant other? Is it a challenge to communicate effectively? Or is your stress heavier than the average stressors of modern relationships?
Why does it seem daunting to maintain a happy relationship? No relationship is all sunshine and roses but at the same time, every relationship needs to be purposeful and positive. It always takes two to tango, so a bit of work from both partners can make a relationship stable and solid.
Intimacy, passion and commitment are the keystones of every romantic relationship. Intimacy depends on the warmth and closeness both partners generate towards the relationship. Passion drives a person to a romantic relationship. With passion comes attraction and romance. The decision to be in a relationship and the behaviour that leads to nurturing it, is a part of the commitment. These components are not mutually exclusive, but rather inclusive.
The nature of romantic relationships always breeds disagreements and distress between two people, which further get amplified when they get married. While it is normal for couples to disagree on many issues, there is a fine line between problems that are normal and problems that are serious.
Every individual tends to get caught up in accustomed patterns of thoughts and as a result behaviour. This restricts a person’s ability to reason logically. Couples in romantic relationships need to step back and take an objective view of their relationship. This will help them move beyond their usual thinking and will be able to modify their dysfunctional behaviour.
Every romantic relationship requires a minimum amount of communication to keep the relationship going smoothly. Communication is the heart of every relationship. Couples need to communicate anyhow – verbally, through texts, emails, sign or body language. Fear inhibits effective communication especially at the onset of a relationship. Both partners should ease each other’s fears and help express freely.
The moment you feel your relationship needs a boost, start showing appreciation towards your partner. It will give you a wonderful chance to remember what you value about your partner and that will help you enhance the positive aspects of your relationship.
Another important thing you can do is to think about the reasons that makes the relationship worth building, rebuilding, reigniting and improving. Thinking about the things you have common with your partner is a great way to strengthen your relationship.
Learning to accept and put up with persistent differences including a few stubborn differences will go a long way. I cannot emphasize enough about owning up a mistake and apologizing for it. Last but not the least every couple needs to provide support. Solutions are secondary.