You can’t undo the past

Saal Mubarak to all my readers. Tell me, with ‘saal mubaraks’ received aplenty, how do you go about making your new year wishes come true? By simply remembering what’s done cannot be undone’. If you etch this in your minds you cannot go wrong in life.

How pointless it is to cry over spilled milk, similarly fretting over what’s already done is futile. When you realize the significance of this worthless act, you can keep your mental distress at bay, especially marital distress.  When you know you can’t change something, you tend to accept it – regardless of whether you approve of it or not. Whether you like it or not. I have seen so many clients constantly brooding over their spouses’ mistakes, only to lament over it time and again. They can’t get over their partners’ adultery but want to continue with their marriage. They are neither ready to forget nor forgive. According to me, it is a terrible state to be in. You either get out of something you don’t approve of or try to get over it. Or else it becomes impossible for the strayed partner to get over it too. To be in a marriage which is dictated by barbs and jibes, taunts and sarcasm is not a marriage. the same applies to vices too. Instead of nagging your partner, courage to get over the past, move on with the present and look forward to a better future should be the order of the day. Constantly reminding him/her about their past is like scratching a healing wound.

Regrets are another way of defying our ‘done-undone’ mantra. Regrets lead to remorse and breed negativity, making the unpleasant worse. You can never undo what’s done, so why be regretful? Treat all your regrets as lessons learnt and move on.  Don’t waste your time and energy regretting things you have no control over. When you learn to leave behind the nonessential baggage behind, it makes life much more meaningful.

The most powerful tool to make our mar our behaviour, our thinking affects anything and everything, anybody and everybody associated with us. So, if we remember that we cannot undo what’s done, we can improve the quality of our thoughts and thus make life easy for everyone around us.  Without much ado, try to not to undo what’s done. For I am done…