Every relationship comes with a cost. Intimate included. At what cost, depends completely on the person involved. The costs can be multi-dimensional – financial, social, personal and many more. While, the first two would become an intrinsic part of any relationship, at what personal cost can one afford to remain in a relationship remains a question mark. ‘Personal’ cost entails infringement on privacy, hampering one’s hobbies and interests, likes and dislikes, resistance in nursing one’s idiosyncrasies et. al. The list is not exhaustive and there are so many more.
Most couples or individuals pay heavily by cutting off with their family, relatives and friends once involved. While at a certain juncture it could be justified – courtesy bitter experiences with the inner circle people, that apart no other situation solicits such a move. Overtly unfair on the people who were a part of their lives for all these years, only to be side lined by a new entrant in their orbit. A big personal cost.
I know a couple. Right from their courtship days the woman discouraged her man from keeping any relations with his family. The motive behind making him lose touch with his family was to break his support system – to make him so dependent on her that he would be forced to commit. Now, any sane person would not blindly tread such a path and ignore one’s family, but there are people who momentarily get so involved with their partners, that they cannot see beyond them. The irony of the entire situation was such that the woman continued to live and be a part of her family and expected him to be nice to them. But he was stopped from interacting with his. Love is blind, but the guy was super blind.
Having a partner who doesn’t want you to have anything to do with your family reflects a lot about him/her. Also, a partner who cuts off all the ties with his/her family for the sake of their partner speaks volumes about them as a person. When a person can break an eternal bond with the family, do you think that person would think twice before calling it quits with their partner? Sadly, the person who wants their partner to sever ties with his/her family is dumb to realize. Plant your seeds properly for what you sow, so you reap.