The Dos and Don’ts

Based on certain patterns that are observed in couples going through distress, here’s a low down on a few relationship tips that can never go wrong if followed to a T.

• Taking for granted – Clichéd as it may sound, never take your partner for granted. As the relationship grows old, this becomes a given, not always deliberately but sometimes inadvertently. Feeling secure in a relationship is another reason which breeds this attitude. Please make a conscious effort to not take each other for granted and see how beautiful your relationship remains. Couples not only take each other for granted but end up taking themselves for granted too. In the process, they end up ignoring their own wellbeing. The drive to look and feel nice, fit and healthy gets diluted with time. Never stop focusing on yourself.
• Remember ‘why’ you are in it – You would have your reasons – valid indeed, to be in it and make sure to remember it to value the relationship and your partner.
• Boost your self-confidence – A relationship can soar or deplete your confidence levels, depending on how you feel about it. So, chin up and smile! And always steer clear of someone who make you feel low or inferior.
• Be true to yourself – It’s not enough to be true to your companion by being truthful. You need to be true to yourself as well. Only then will you be able to stay happy and contented.
• Give space and take space – Women tend to do this more than men when it comes to doing everything together. But the bitter reality is, even the most intimate of couples need their time to themselves. Such time alone can give the relationship a much-required boost by making the time together much more precious.
• Never ever compare – Comparing your partner to anybody is a big NO – neither with your ex nor with anyone else.
• Throw jealousy out of the window – Possessiveness and jealousies are natural human traits, but how you deal with them is what matters. At the outset, it could be only jealousy, but this could be the result of some underlying factors. With jealousy comes insecurities. Insecurities can wreak havoc with your mind and weaken your immune system. Many jealous and suspicious couples try to spy on each other through various means. This can hamper a relationship permanently. Trusting your partner and having faith in each other is the best way to respect your partner and the relationship.
• Melodrama is a big turn off – If you see your partner indulging in it, nip it in the bud from day one.
• Never keep score – Don’t try to be a referee. Relationships are always about give and take. But never try to maintain a balance sheet to keep a score of what you did vis a vis your partner’s deeds.
• Always be mindful of timing – As a couple, there would always be issues to be discussed. But there’s a time and place to do it. Sensitive issues should be discussed in a stress-free zone, when both partners are relaxed. But never make the mistake of not talking it out, fearing a negative outburst or outcome.
• Never try to changes your partner or yourself – this is the most common mistake made by most of the people. While shortcomings should be worked upon, don’t try to change only to wield control.