The art of Communication – lose it if you don’t use it

Communication has always been an ever evolving process. It has metamorphosed in last fifty years. If we look at it from a couple’s perspective, it has drastically altered from what it used to be about five decades ago. Majority of marriages, in those times, mostly arranged, hardly saw any communication between prospective brides and grooms, especially after their betrothal. Post marriage, there was some communication, generally one sided with the submissive wife perennially playing the role of a listener. It changed for the better about a couple of decades ago, when couples started opening up relatively more. Apart from telephonic conversations, love letters became popular and greeting cards came into being. Today, the scenario is completely different. The advent of the internet has led to a revolution in communication. Snail mail is replaced by emails. Internet chatting and social media have monopolised the entire communication network. Despite so many avenues being available, paradoxically, the patterns of communication have seen a decline in the number of couples connecting with each other through traditional ways. As a result, it has lost its flavour and touch – has become more synthetic than natural.

I would like to highlight the other side of communication which may go against the grain for many, but I feel negative communication is better than no communication. Astounding as it may sound, it is true! Thanks to the digital communication, genuine conversations are getting all dried up. Emotions are never reflected rightly, making it very easy for misunderstandings to creep in, taking a toll on couples and their relationships. In fact, tumultuous times are the times when communication is the most important and necessary, however daunting it may seem.

It’s natural for couples to be wary of getting embroiled in a tiff which would lead to unpleasantness and hence would choose withdrawal to confrontation. But a relationship dies an unnatural death when both partners stop or reduce communicating. Any disagreement would always mean the communication will turn negative somewhere. Wanting to resolve the differences, even at the cost of arguing merely proves, the relationship is valued. Fighting is an effort towards keeping the relationship alive. It’s a sign that it is healthy. After a conflict when both partners cool down and reflect on what transpired, they are always in a better position to dialogue with the issues which got them there in the first place. So, negative can be a positive at such times.

Expression of emotions – good or bad is a form of communication too. Again expressing oneself is not enough for a relationship to work. Expression needs a response and both can take a negative tone. A tell-tale sign of a relationship going haywire is when expression or response takes a back seat.

Communication is the essence of any relationship. Effective communication always resets a distressed relationship. Being forthright, honest and open about sharing what’s important, will help save a lot of relationships from becoming sour. Partners are no mind readers. Unless the thoughts are not put across – either positive or negative, one would never be able to gauge what’s going on in each other’s minds, affecting relationships.

Before it gets late, communicate with your mate!!!!