Testing relationships

Testing is defined as a process of measuring the validity and reliability of parameters. How does one go about testing relationships? ‘One test fits all’ unfortunately cannot be applied here. As much as one would feel the necessity to test it sooner rather than later in a relationship, it is equally important later on – once it starts getting mundane, stereotype and monotonous.

Before using steel or any other new building material for construction, it is tested for its tensile strength and only the best is used thereafter. A relationship is a lot like that. Just as the building materials are needed to be tested for their optimum stress levels, so are certain areas of relationships. This forms the basis of a strong foundation – in construction and relationships. Once the newness of a relationship wears off and the reality sets in, it brings with it its own share of stresses and pressures. Testing the strength of a relationship is always conducive for it to grow and function smoothly.

Let’s say a couple share different interests. After a point they may not remain as interested in indulging in activities they do not fancy. Doesn’t mean they are disrespecting their partner or the differences. Maintaining one’s individuality is as important as being a part of each other. So they may decide to do different things at a given time. This would not only give them their ‘me time’ but also the space to value and appreciate each other. Unless and until this wasn’t tested by indulging in different activities, the feeling of preserved individuality and renewed fondness for the partner would have remained latent.

A relationship is always about we rather than me. But treading on the same path may not be possible by both all the time. Particularly if the path is sensitive, most feel, the prudence lies in avoiding that path – which certainly is not healthy in the long run. Partners don’t have to like everything about each other. They don’t always have to be on the same page. Testing requires treading the sensitive path to see if the relationship can withstand the rough patch. Whether it can sustain this parallel walk?

Relationships are the highest indicators of happiness. The happiness it creates has a rippling effect on the other areas of our lives. Most of the people are ready to compromise their happiness and as a result lose their ability to be themselves. Testing a relationship requires being one’s self to the core. Fake or artificial behaviour to please one’s partner can have long lasting detrimental effects on the relationship. By being one’s self, I mean being a good human being. Justifying a person’s inherently aggressive, insecure, jealous or inadequate disposition doesn’t fall in ‘being one’s self’ category.

Marriage is one of the longest associations one has with one’s spouse. With divorce rates going up, marriages which were supposed to be for keeps in a country like ours, have taken a back seat. Seven-year itch coming down to three years, has now dipped to three-six months. You don’t want yours to last only through some months. Test your relationship and see if it can stand the test of time and go from strength to strength.