Is your relationship toxic and taxing?

No relationship is conflict proof. That’s not only impossible but unhealthy as well. Every couple has its share of arguments and issues. But how to draw a line between what’s normal and what’s not? There are some indicators which can help one gauge if a relationship is worth being invested in or time to move on.

Have you set healthy boundaries in your relationship? if no, it’s a matter of concern. By setting a boundary one can show one’s displeasure by saying no to things which don’t go down too well with the partner. By respecting these boundaries, one can reset the relationship norms between the couple and thereby improve the quality of a dysfunctional relationship.

Are your feelings minimized by your partner? When your feelings are minimized and your partner’s feelings are expected to be magnified, it is a toxic relationship for sure. A balanced relationship wherein the feelings of each other matter is worth maintaining.

Has your partner accepted you – warts and all? The point here is, how well do you accept your imperfect partner and working through his/her flaws together to make the bond meaningful.

Does your partner’s honesty hurt you? A healthy relationship is not always about total honesty. At times things are kept to oneself without sharing. Being brutally honest can hurt the partner’s sentiments. One must be considerate towards the partner’s feelings and be sensitive and empathetic. Doesn’t mean one must be dishonest though.

Do you vent your negative feelings all the time? A constant outburst of how much your partner ruffles your feathers, irritates and winds you up can negatively play on your relationship. You may temporarily feel better after the catharsis but eventually can spell trouble for your relationship. Similarly, unbridled self – expression of love and affection can also have a negative impact. One should always be mindful and understanding towards the partner before spouting out one’s feelings and emotions. Being unmindful can sting a relationship and its scar can last a life time.

Do you feel healthy, energetic and positive in your partner’s presence? If your answer is no, the relationship is a question mark. It is very important to recognise how you feel when with your partner. Any relationship is not always roses but if it generates similar negative feelings of anxiety, depression, depleted energy levels, and if it is the norm rather than the exception, you are in a toxic relationship.

Are you detracted from being your full version? Two people come together and create synergy which makes them feel complete about themselves and with each other. Feeling more powerful and stronger because of the communion than being an individual reflects the relationship index.

Do you always blame everybody/thing but yourself for a problem in your relationship? An affirmative answer shows a relationship to be toxic. Being defensive all the time about issues cropping up in a relationship is a huge relationship malfunction. It’s very important to take responsibility for the share of the problem you are a part of.

During the beginning of any romantic relationship it is a natural tendency to be blinded by love and lust and one may overlook some pointers indicative of relationship distress. it is very important to be wary of these red flags by gauging the situation objectively. Invest in a relationship which is happy and relaxing rather than toxic and taxing.