With Valentine’s Day round the corner, last week was quite unprecedented. Contrary to my expectations of seeing couples, I ended up seeing a lot of singles ready to mingle. With differences in degrees, their issues were all centred on only one thing – what attracts a guy to a girl and vice versa?
I wish it was something as easy as: “who’s your favourite cricketer or what’s your favourite film, sport, book etc.?” I was trying to drive home the point that ‘one size fits all’ doesn’t apply here. A quality which attracts one person to another, may not work on someone else. Had that been the case, out of thousands of people we interact with, why would only one person touch the chord of our heart? But since they had taken the trouble of coming to me, that too with great anticipations, I tried to come up with some relevant answers, hoping to make some difference to them and their relationships.
First and foremost, attraction is something totally relative. And since men and women are wired differently, what attracts a woman to a man can be very different from what attracts a man to a woman. Ladies first – it is rather difficult to pinpoint a singular aspect about men that appeals universally to all girls/women, but being a woman, the most honest answer I can come up with is really simple. Normally a woman is attracted to a man who is attracted to her. Period. No beating around the bush here. Haven’t we heard, ‘a man chases a woman until she catches him’? Other attributes like grooming, sophistication, hygiene, looks, chiselled body and sense of humour follow suit. Loyalty again can be a game changer. Delving deeper into their psyche reveals an interesting fact. It is learnt that they are so much in love with themselves that any external force adding to their self-love and esteem certainly works. They like to be complimented – but not in humdrum ways like: “you are very pretty or stunning.” They keep hearing that all the time. Action speaks louder than words. So instead of telling her something, doing something is a better bet. Maybe like just texting her at unexpected hours or amidst one’s busy schedule to convince her she is being thought about. Small gestures go a long way in making her feel wanted, no matter what. So guys, if you play your cards well, she can be smitten and how!
The prescription is pretty different as far as men are concerned. Ladies, please get over the clichéd list of long hair and neck, beautiful eyes and face. A woman’s sex appeal scores the highest in terms of all her other attributes. And the sex appeal doesn’t always ooze from her physical beauty. Her intellectual, emotional and social bearings speak volumes. It’s reflected through her persona – proving ‘beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’ to the core. While opposites attract, men with opposing personalities often have opposing deficiencies and strengths. Trying to meet those through their women is what strongly holds them on to them. As much as sweetness and good nature are a big turn on, clinginess and possessive can be a big turn off. So girls, even your scales to balance it out.
Valentine’s Day is over. I hope these relationship nuggets are fine to help you wine & dine and shine like turpentine with your valentine – not just today but everyday…