Too soon is never a boon

Today’s column is for my young readers who regularly mail me. This week they want me to address their predicament on why any relationship which starts on a high note loses its steam in no time? Each relationship is different and so is each couple in a relationship. Two people making a couple are different. Couple dynamics are different too – how it is formed, the time frame behind it, the mental makeup of two people involved etc can throw some light on why a relationship graph dips rather than rise.

One can also attribute this problem to needs fulfilment. How soon and effectively are the needs fulfilled play a key role. Normally, the time taken to satisfy the needs is a primary relationship predictor.

Incubation period in any relationship is necessary. Couples tend to get overwhelmed initially and naturally so. But without letting it mature, rather without nurturing it to mature, the relationship is bound to go downhill. One needs to invest in the relationship. Invest in terms of time and patience. Instant gratification is a killer. When one gives it time and patiently lets it bloom, it’s wisdom.

At the slightest cue of attraction, there is a flurry of communication. Courtesy cell phones. Not just the time spent in communicating, but the essence of communication is very important. If one is engaged in 24×7 communication monopolised only by euphoria, the relationship is guaranteed to doom. The bond needs substance. Maturity of two people with similar emotional quotient has more chances of adding substance to their relationship.

Despite knowing that nothing lasts forever, especially the initial enigma and attraction, couples get carried away and end up losing each other. One can question spontaneity here – why be mindful when one can just go with the flow and experience beautiful emotions and feelings?

Whether we like it or not, feelings and emotions seldom last long. When one is aware of its shelf life, why not get prudent and do the right thing to make the relationship right? There’s a time to communicate, how much to communicate, interact and express. Instead of getting impulsive and letting your relationship peak, to eventually slump with the wrong person, take your time to make it right with the right person. To love someone to the moon and back too soon is certainly not a boon.