In order to have a successful relationship with others, we need to have a wonderful relationship with our own self. I am going to ask you a very important and relevant question which probably is coming in the way of your happiness.
Do you feel your attempts to feel happy are never enough?
At the outset, it may seem as if you have everything to feel happy about. But there’s always something in the background that’s stopping you to feel that happiness.
Are you one of those who wants your partner to show you more love despite being in a committed relationship? Do you wish your partner would open up more, be more affectionate and may be more romantic?
Did you have fun at your recent date but aren’t particularly excited about meeting your date again?
Do you go shopping on a whim, end up spending a fortune and feel happy only to get back home and feel it was unnecessary?
Did you get your dream job only to make you realize its more of a nightmare than a dream, just because it doesn’t make you happy?
Happiness is evading you because you are trying to fill a void inside you through external factors – your relationship, money or your job.
To fill that emptiness, you need to learn to do what will change your perception about everything. And that will come when you learn to love yourself.
When you love yourself, you will feel immense peace and happiness with the outside world, but you can never seek that peace and happiness through it.
The best part about loving yourself can help you value the love you receive from others and you don’t have to worry about losing that love.
When you love yourself, you can live a life that reflects who really are. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
Learning to love yourself is the most powerful tool you can equip yourself with.
It is easier said than done to love yourself especially if you haven’t done it for all this while. To love yourself you must get rid of a few things which hinder your falling in love with yourself process.
For example, you spend money on yourself thinking you deserve it. Which means you will buy yourself nice things or may be indulge in massages, holidays, expensive cars or treat yourself in an expensive restaurant. People usually scout for that big fix that would give them that instant gratification to feel better about their life or relationship. Instant gratification never works, for they don’t really cater to what you are at the core.
Another common practice which comes in the way of self-love is when you do things for others so that they won’t label you as a bad person. People pleasing behaviour to do things for others when you really don’t want to, not disagreeing with a friend just because u don’t want to disappoint or lose them, seeking approval from others to feel good will never make you feel good for more than a few days.
Last but not the least, you keep searching for that ideal relationship and think your life will be perfect the day you find the right partner. This is a losing strategy because you are looking at another person to make you feel complete. If you don’t love yourself, no matter what, you will never feel loved by anyone else. But, when you love yourself, your relationships will improve. You won’t be hiding your true self from others. Your honest and integrity will be second to none. It will give you another level of confidence, security and calm around your loved ones.
Once you learn to delve into your deeper self, your health and wellbeing will bloom. It will help you enjoy each day and end your chronic dissatisfaction and increase your inner peace and happiness.