Preempting the preemption

“And they lived happily ever after….” Life seldom has fairy tale ends. Reality never offers favourable dénouement to all. Particularly relationships.

The human tendency to chew the cud over their exes is a futile exercise. Proven to be very unfair on their current relationship. Just because one didn’t work out, doesn’t mean the next one wouldn’t either. Probably it wouldn’t if the generalization and the reasoning of an unworked relationship are applied to the existing one.

Comparing your ex to your current partner can be equally cataclysmic. All individuals are unique. No two persons can ever be the same – not even siblings. Then how can partners be??? Just because you have been wronged the first time/previous time by your partner, doesn’t mean you will meet the same fate the next time along.

The habit to preempt things based on one’s past relationship is preemption without any logic. Why let your previous relationship have a cascading effect on your current relationship? Why hold on to the bad memories and keep brooding over them, whipping negative emotions internally and externally being wary of one’s partner? Constant anxiety of something untoward might strike again can be quite unnerving. Faith in everything good and acceptance of something beautiful is for real, is replaced with complete distrust, corrupting your entire system and relationship. It’s too big a price to pay for not being able to commit yourself completely into a relationship. Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but… live today. Remember the lessons it taught you. Dream about a beautiful tomorrow while you continue to live your current relationship to the fullest.

Why should your current partner pay the price for your past attachment? Why be unjust to a person who may be just right because of someone who wasn’t? Please let go of the past. Do not presume anything and start afresh. Nobody can take away the memories it gave you. No regrets. Only lessons learnt!

Relationships make our lives meaningful. Research puts relationships at the top of happiness index. We owe our mental and physical wellbeing to our relationships. When so much is at stake, why equate our previous association to the existent? Wipe off the past and create a present without worrying about the future. After all past, present and future are only tenses, and not events to make us tense………