Love is in the air. The entire world is gripped with the love fever. Hearts – real and symbolic pump into action. The occasion? The ‘Valentine’s Day’!!! The day to profess and express one’s love. A special day to get betrothed or married. Something utterly romantic about the day for most.
I like the electrifying atmosphere of the V-day celebrations. Decorations marked with red – balloons and ribbons all over. Cards and gifts in demand galore. I find the seen outside any college always very interesting. Boys and girls, dressed to the nines – some ecstatic some apprehensive. Red roses given and received. While it’s never easy for such love to last at this age and stage, it’s the manifestation of beautiful feelings, ruled more by dreams than reality that monopolise the young minds and hearts. Celebrations also involve the ‘not so young’. May be subtler, may be not, but work place romantics, newlyweds, couples in relationship et.al look forward to this day as well.
When I compare the young and ‘the less young’, the inherent nature and feelings associated with falling and being in love are common. It has nothing to do with age. Agreed the heart rules more than the mind when younger, but the need to love and be loved is universal. It’s a basic human need. Why are older adults required to control their feelings? Why are they required to act their age? Why are they required to not get carried away by love – a phenomenon considered fleeting, only for them? On the contrary, they can be much more mature, consistent and sincere in love. Their enriched life experiences put them on a sounder footing of love. They can be better lovers. One of the main reasons why marriages in our country lose their essence is because once married for a certain number of years, love and romance take a back seat. The biggest mistake most couples make by prioritizing everything but love between them.
It is our perception and conditioning to behave in a ‘certain’ way once we pass the so-called age of love. Is there actually an age to love? Teenagers can fall in (and out of) love at their whims and fancies. People in their twenties have a right to love too. May be thirties is still acceptable for love. But the moment one enters one’s forties, it’s almost a full stop. Time to give up the good things in life. Fifties and onwards almost resonate a renunciation phase. Love totally unimaginable. Sad but true!
My trips to the west always leave me enamoured by their world of happiness. Nothing stops them from being themselves. They enjoy every phase of life without any inhibitions. ‘Age is just a number’ is believed and lived to the fullest. Whether a shift in career or relationship, they don’t let themselves be controlled by external factors. Of course, their society is different from ours. Such landmark changes are not frowned upon. But ours is changing too. Only last week at one of the conferences attended, my hexagenerian co-therapist was on her way to buy a valentine’s gift for her husband of four years and she was all upbeat about it. She said it took her ages to get out of a bad marriage but finally found the love of her life. She wanted to enjoy the last few decades blissfully. I was pretty touched hearing her little yet big life and love story.
Valentine day’s celebrations – no prerequisites required…