Turning things around…

I have seen so many women give up on love after failure of a serious relationship. I know a lady, who after meeting an interesting man, would feel very optimistic about him. There would be mutual attraction and in no time they would be in a relationship. Her initial feeling would be of hope and optimism. But over a period of time, she would be told that he considers her to be only a really good ‘friend’, or would start seeing other women or become less affectionate with time and finally walk out. She would be left nursing a broken heart and the story would repeat itself each time.

It can be very daunting to get into a new relationship each time and that too on a clean slate – without carrying the baggage from the past relationship/s that unfortunately haven’t worked. The pain from the past always colours the vision of the present. It can make one lose faith in love, relationship and marriage. But still the need to be loved, get married and have a family make most of the girls/women put up with a lot from men, especially if their relationship track record is not very encouraging. One of the main reasons for their relationship failure is this mentality to continually compromise. I have been a witness to a guy flirting with his female friends right in front of his girlfriend. She being mortified to even express her feelings of jealousy, out of sheer fear of a break off, sat there in silence. These kind of instances leave a terrible taste in the mouth which come from being hurt time and again. The fault lies within the woman and not the man she is seeing.

By accepting the wrong behaviour and treating a man as if he matters more than one’s feelings and self-respect isn’t very attractive and definitely not appealing to a man one is involved with. It only makes one appear needy and clingy and a little too forgiving to issues which are absolutely not acceptable, not even to him. It simply turns off a man in the long run. Even if it doesn’t, it is extremely unhealthy for a lasting relationship. And this pattern gets repetitive with each new relationship.

By working on a couple of very important inherent traits, a woman can certainly fix this ‘relationship going haywire’ syndrome. Attitude and self- esteem, along with self-respect play a vital role here. One needs to rise above the negativity by bringing in changes in these aspects. It will not only make the woman feel more energetic and empowered towards the relationship but also make her more relaxed around him. The aura which flows from self-confidence is tremendous. This will help her become more realistic and thus true to herself. The denouement –  incredible attention from him. Don’t wait another day to feel better about yourself. Never get desperate to have his attention. Work around your strengths and stop feeling hopeless.

Nobody is perfect. But the individuality you have is second to none. It is unique. When you reflect this in your demeanour, it will automatically bring a man close to you, naturally – by being yourself and not changing for anyone.  All you need to do is turn your mindset around to turn your relationship around. One good turn deserves another…