Of late I have come across quite a few couples who are not friends with each other on Facebook. “Oh we are not friends on Facebook” is a frequent statement ranted by many – with either of the partners wanting to, only to be precluded by the other. Makes me wonder if they are actually ‘friends’ in reality!! While their friendship status is no benchmark to gauge their relationship, it can AT TIMES be a pointer towards the unusual.
Is it so important to ‘befriend’ one’s spouse/partner on the social media? Well, not really. Isn’t social media supposed to be for people wanting to remain connected with their friends whom one cannot meet regularly, long distance friends and acquaintances? The spouse or the partner (I don’t think) falls under this category. The very fact that one is cohabiting with one’s partner/spouse means that one knows everything about each other and don’t need a separate platform to communicate or interact with. While there are couples who mutually decide to stay off each other’s orbits, there are disgruntled partners who are itching to desperately become friends – in an endless, anxious and hopeless wait for the acceptance of their friend request.
Why are people skeptical or apprehensive to befriend their partners? Plethora of reasons ranging from not getting along, to not wanting any infiltration on one’s private space; basically to avoid explanations and justifications for any activity online – constant bickering and challenging one’s motivation to ‘befriend’, ‘unfriend’, ‘like’, ‘post’, ‘comment’ on other friends et al. Discouraging indeed.
But again wanting to paint a wrong picture on the same media is another indicator of a relationship hazard. Why should there be a need to show/show-off, justify to the world, something which is not actually the truth? After all, going by the lovey dovey pictures posted on FB is definitely misleading one’s friends by their noses to see and believe something which is not the actuality. In the process of fooling the world, one ends up fooling oneself. The reality doesn’t change its colour just because of a different projection to the virtual world. Not being friends on FB with such a partner is hardly a price to pay to be away from this false reality.
This tendency is more prevalent in the insecure partner. There is this constant need for acceptance, recognition and to an extent adulation in these kind of people. What better platform than the social media to feed their needs? It’s instant gratification, only to be satiated for an instance and wanting much more at the very next instance. Research has proved that Facebook is addictive. There were times when people would be so agitated if someone went through their personal diaries. And now tables have turned completely. People are so affected if someone doesn’t go through their posts on the social media. Incurable addiction!!!
Social media is a platform for leisure time. Doesn’t deserve to dominate our lives, control our minds or hog on our precious time. Instead focus more on being ‘REAL’ friends in ‘REALITY’. The rest is all unreal even if it seems surreal…