How beautiful it would be – if attracting someone, one is attracted to, is as simple as attracting iron to a magnet. Unfortunately, relationships are not always about polarity. Even reciprocated attraction remains in question – for how long?
Attractions are varied. From lasting, fiery, permanent to the kind that flames out faster than it started. Short term attraction like flaming or the kind that flames out faster than it started are easier to tame compared to the other two long term ones. Lasting relationships are the result of long lasting if not permanent attraction.
One can be physically attracted to more than one person at a given time. So being physically attracted to someone is not enough to start a relationship. One needs to feel something more at a deeper level in order to want each other. It’s the emotional attraction which leads to a relationship. A healthy relationship is a product of emotional and physical connect.
Intellectual stimulation follows the physical and emotional attraction. Here, being on the same intellectual level with one’s partner becomes paramount.
Since there can be a thin line between attraction and repulsion, understanding attraction and how it works can help develop a lasting relationship. There are many facets of attraction. Let’s start with the body language. Physical attributes of a person are always a big trigger. Body language includes posture, eye contact and the tone of one’s voice. The right posture, longer eye contact, a deeper tone and an articulate way of speaking can go a long way in generating the right desirability. Personality is defined as the dynamic characteristic integration of an individual’s mind and body. It helps to create the right chemistry.
What is chemistry? It’s a mix of teasing, sarcasm, mystery, humour and flirting. Anything which provides a stimulus that can make one feel different, through unexpected and unpredictable ways is a part of chemistry. Not everyone has that effect on the other and hence it doesn’t click with all.
Self-confidence can also be a big turn on. It automatically exudes from a person through all the communication they make. It brings amazing results. Lack of self-confidence leads to insecurity and jealousy – a total turn off.
Emotional control is one of the main anchors for a relationship. No relationship can sail through uniform emotions. They tend to ebb and flow over time. Negative emotions if controlled and managed well can be very appealing.
Flexibility, spontaneity, other interests, hobbies and friends can also be instrumental in attracting each other. Partner who makes his or her own happiness, is loved a lot more than the one who doesn’t. This way the partners don’t feel obligated to spend time with each other if they don’t wish to, all the time.
The last rule of attraction – love yourself if you want your partner to love u and be attracted to you.
Insane levels of attraction can be dangerous for a relationship. It can override one’s logic and ignore one’s instincts. But apart from these extreme tendencies, attraction holds the key to the treasure hunt of a successful relationship. After all, ‘you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are’……