The age-old debate on what should be the ideal age difference between a man and his wife continues, but in a different context. It’s not conventional any more for a man to be older than his woman. It can be the other way around as well. May December relationships are no longer a rarity.
What should be the ideal difference and who should be older has no precise answer. There are no ground rules to decide the gender specific age difference. If we go by the statistics of the west, age is never a bar. Hollywood actors are the biggest examples. The acceptance towards an older woman, younger man is progressively increasing but nevertheless, a big difference between the two is still frowned upon.
The culture in our country still encourages a big age gap between a husband and a wife. Many times, the difference is astronomical in terms of the husband being older. The much older husband is supposed to be looked up to by his wife and she is also expected to be in awe of him. Nothing wrong with this notion provided the man is really worth the admiration and awe.
Does age difference have anything to do with the quality of the relationship? Being older doesn’t mean one is always wiser, enriched by life experiences and proportionally mature. Similarly, being younger doesn’t mean one is inexperienced and immature always. Age can never define a person’s overall growth and sanity. The best relationships can work in any direction – regardless of whether the age difference is too much or too little between the couple with either being older, younger or of the same age.
I have seen varied couples with all kinds of age differences. And as much as I have tried to derive at a leaning in terms of the most successful age difference, I have not been able to zero in on a number. If there is harmony in the relationship, it really doesn’t matter who is older and how much. A happy relationship requires a lot of understanding more than anything else from each other – a characteristic which can constitute from an individual of any age group. A person advancing in age doesn’t necessarily have this very important quality. It could come from someone very young as well.
It’s all about being a balanced human being. If one is emotionally stable, no age can dictate terms about who is wiser since older. Control plays a big role. Not the need to control the other, but the need to be in control of one’s self. Requirement of a strong and stable mind. A relationship is paradoxically the most turbulent journey a couple embarks on and requires a lot of control to stay strong and true, not just to the partner but to oneself to function smoothly. Slotting people in different groups as per their age, age difference and number of years they are married or in a relationship is the mother of all misconceptions.
No matter how young or old you are. if you know how to handle your beautiful communion with your partner, you have arrived (regardless of whether a few or many years ago – into this world).