Although this blog is being written, keeping Indian culture in view, I am sure there are many other cultures (particularly Asian) that still have husbands dominating marriages.
While the west continues to influence the world all over in ways more than one, there are still many things which can be imbibed positively. Instead of cloning only the fashions and styles, the language and the methods, why not focus on some aspects which can really turnaround a society for the better? Almost all marriages in the west are on an equal footing, which isn’t the case in our country most of the times (exceptional husbands are not targeted here). The normal practice of a husband considering his wife to be his inferior is very common, not confined to rural, but urban couples as well. It’s the wife who has to bear the brunt of all the house hold chores, especially if the husband is the bread winner of the family. She is expected to be at his beck and call, who ironically is supposed to ‘provide’ for the entire family. But it’s actually the wife who ends up ‘providing’ for everybody in terms of all their needs. This applies to a wife who is a career woman too. She has to walk the tight rope of work and marriage constantly.
Why is man always put on a pedestal? Gender disparity between a girl and a boy is ingrained right from childhood. Unfortunately, it’s the boy who is given all the privileges at home. And this disparity, rubs on his marriage too. He continues to feel superior and presumes he can get away with anything. Unfortunately the wife in most of the cases is also conditioned into believing and accepting the supremacy of the husband. It is a given that she has to comply by his rules. Inappropriately, the husband’s family keeps reiterating his role as the master of the family. Nothing can be more paradoxical than the parents of a son, who also have a daughter, continuing to daunt the daughter-in-law by their unreasonable means. They forget their daughter too could be subjected to such unfairness. Or maybe, they consider it normal for their daughter to live within the framework of an unfair marriage. Not to forget the mother in the mother-in-law who was once a daughter and a wife too.
Times are changing, but it’s still far from a fair and ideal society, wherein the man and the woman can grow equally in a marriage. We continue to be enamoured by the west. How beautifully a couple in the west share a balanced marriage with neither feeling superior nor inferior to the other. The husband never looks down upon helping his wife with all the chores. He is a ‘hands on’ father too, giving his wife a helping hand in looking after the children. If we can look up to the west for all kinds of materialistic pleasures and influences, why not try to adapt to their ways of parity?
We do have many husbands who are treading the same path in terms of treating their wives equally. But the statistic is too less to change the reality. Women have started asserting their right to equality leading to many broken marriages. Men have to realize that they are ordinary men and not supermen to enjoy a blissful family life. If not then the men should be contented with hiring a maid if not a slave to inflate their already bloated egos… Why do they need a wife?????????