Do you feel you have had a wonderful connection with your partner/friend, only to wonder why he or she suddenly withdrew? Do you blame yourself to turn him or her off? Can anything be done to salvage a great relationship from crumbling?
These are some common questions plaguing couples of today. A seemingly uniform pattern I have witnessed in their relationships. While it’s very easy to fall in love, it’s never easy to continue being in love. This fast pace of growing close and apart can be nerve-wracking. Speed always plays a spoil sport. Their struggle to keep their relationship steady, manifests in anxiety or depression, disrupting their mental and physiological equilibrium.
Early stages of a relationship determine a smooth, stable and solid journey of togetherness. When the pace of relationship is too fast, the resultant outcome is generally the following in either or both the partners: Firstly, one wouldn’t know what to do with the connection if developed instantly and the timing is questioned. “Am I ready for this”? “Is this the right time?” “Do I have other priorities?” Questions start ruling the mind. Secondly, one may not be mentally equipped to deal with the essential relationship characteristics necessary for getting closer. Ample understanding, honestly, patience and tolerance are required. But when the emotional maturity is missing, it’s a deal breaker. Lastly, the short and instant relationship itself can be indicative of something either amiss or unfit to carry forward.
Nothing can be done about the wrong timing or lack of emotional maturity. A non-starter indeed! But a relationship can be an excellent indicator when things are not ideal. One can gauge and correct some relationship malfunction by identifying it. A great relationship can turn sour mainly due to the biggest mistake most couples make. They have had great lives on their own, but the moment they meet each other, they start focussing only on giving or pleasing each other. Giving up friends and hobbies is synonymous to giving up themselves in the process. One is totally blinded to see anything else. No relationship can survive with only two individuals. Eventually, the same union can be stifling. Undivided attention to each other should always be the prerogative when together, but doesn’t mean one forgets one has a life outside that relationship as well. Leading a happy life together and parallelly can make both the partners attractive in the eyes of each other. It exudes feelings of empowerment and motivation within themselves to continue attracting each other. This would also stall the excitement and euphoria from wearing off.
Appreciation, affection and reassurance are the key ingredients to any beautiful association. Being stingy in using these can spell trouble. When one feels, the partner is not interested or the relationship has stagnated, one needs to show appreciation to convey how precious the relationship and the partner is. Showering affection to express love is imperative to keep it going. Giving regular reassurance to get rid of any insecurities again plays a vital role in the long run. These three elements can cement the relationship with a strong foundation to make it last.
The only time one wouldn’t want to get up after a fall is when one has fallen in love. Let it be a free fall!!!! A fall to remember, remain and rise…