Don’t be possessed with possessiveness

A general observation on individuals who show streaks or scads of possessiveness reflect their state of minds. These are normally the people who have no confidence in themselves and hence need to hold on to their partners. Possessiveness is never a standalone trait. It comes with its baggage of jealousy, suspiciousness and a lot more.

When one of the partners is possessive, the relationship can become extremely stifling. But seldom do such individuals realize that they are spelling doom for their relationship. They think it’s a form of their love – totally a false perception. Partners of such people get fed up being constantly under the surveillance. Possessiveness often manifests in taunts and barbs about any action or behaviour on the part of their partner which is different from the usual. Little do they know that it’s a relationship killer. One can never keep a person bound in any way.

And as per the statistics of people indulging in extra marital romps, individuals with possessive partners are more likely to stray. This is an irony because the same individuals are under scrutiny all the time and despite that, they manage to indulge in affairs. Apparently, getting involved outside their marriage is basically to find a release for their pent up and repressed feelings. Instead of getting into affairs, why can’t people check their partner’s behaviour that’s becoming nerve wracking and stifling beyond the pale? Staying in a relationship which is suffocating can be bad not just for one but both. This needs to be communicated strongly.

I was seeing a couple where the husband was so possessive that his possessiveness had reached pathological levels. He would watch every move of his wife and wouldn’t leave her alone most of the times. Its was so severe that he himself started experiencing the stress, he was subjecting his wife to, thanks to all his energy depleting only from all his efforts towards focussing only on her. There can be a lot of underlying issues here which lead to these kinds of negative traits. But people need to realize that being possessive or jealous never ever helps. On the contrary it puts off one’s partner to such an extent that either the relationship gets embroiled with conflicts and distress or it may simply become dead. Human beings always get immune to any kind of repetitive behavioural pattern –  possessive or otherwise. Possess some mental strength to let go of your possessiveness or you will be possessed!!