My client couple is plagued by a problem faced by many in today’s super technological times. The wife is continuously on WhatsApp. The husband feels neglected and suspects she is having an affair. He keeps checking her ‘online’ status making him ‘online’ all the time too, only for the wife to fear that he is having an extra marital affair.
While I knew all along that being constantly on a certain messaging medium doesn’t always involve a third person, it certainly has opened up avenues for infidelity. Here I needed to go to the root of the problem. Why was the wife continuously on WhatsApp? Was she really having an affair? Was the husband justified in feeling neglected? A step by step approach helped me unfold a lot of realities unknown to both. First and foremost, the wife was addicted to WhatsApp. Although she wasn’t involved with anybody, her obsession made her husband wonder about her motives. While any addiction is detrimental to one’s physical and mental health, it always has a handle for undue indulgence. It’s not that the wife got hooked on to WhatsApp overnight. What started as an escape from boredom, slowly developed into an interest, followed by addiction. The husband with the best of intentions for the family was busy with work. In the process the family got a little side-lined. The wife resorted to WhatsApp which finally took over her completely. A vicious cycle engulfing both.
Extremes in relationships, especially a marriage can always be hazardous. Had the husband realized he was not devoting enough time to the wife, this situation wouldn’t have arose. Again, the wife’s unconscious need to break free from her monotony of life took her to a point which was almost irreversible. She failed to realize the implications of the same. Her husband’s being on WhatsApp to check her status had become his obsessive compulsive behaviour. The wife felt threatened about a probable third person and her defence mechanism only made her WhatsApp use increase. It was her getaway from the harsh reality of life.
In this case the husband and wife both failed to communicate effectively. Their fears and anxieties could have been put to rest had they talked to each other instead of assuming and presuming. The entire scenario could have been avoided, had they only addressed each other’s insecurities. When one can master the art of using various social media platforms to communicate with others, why can’t the same be done with one’s family? If the comfort level is low for direct confrontation, why not use the same WhatsApp to convey one’s feelings? After all even WhatsApp can make or mar your relationship… Use it diligently to make it and not break it. Aren’t relationships fragile?